steel panther balls out

Released: 31 October 2011 Label: Island Records

What do we know about the infamous Steel Panther? Actually I’m gonna rephrase that to, what don’t we know about the notorious Steel Panther? They have never been the shy type that’s for sure! Those four heavy metal heads have done it again; lewdly strutted into a studio and groped their second album Balls Out. Names and games aside, I do believe Steel Panther once said “heavy metal's back”. So ladies put on your stilettos, boys get out the spandex, because round two has finally begun!

First line of the first song In the Future made me chuckle. They never fail to make their point; all those who know Steel Panther will know what I’m on about. We’l I’ll hint and say there is only Steel Panther who can sound like a borderline pornographic spaceman and pull it off!

Back to planet Earth, Supersonic Sex Machine slapped us in the face; the frisky intro was fire breathing. Anyone who wants to be taught heavy metal should listen to Satchel thrusting around the fret-board, you’ll get shown a thing or two! As for the vocals and lyrics, I don’t know where to begin!

You want to know what Steel Panther are all about… go listen to 17 Girls in a Row.  Hopefully I can get away with saying this in a review, but it’s the ‘pole dancing’ song of the album. But hey, it’s a heavy metal rule; if it ain’t red hot then it’s damn well not!

If You Really Really Love Me is the first deluded sensitive side of the album; well about as sensitive as they get. Yes it’s one of the slower numbers, but as soon as the vocals kick in with that vile poetry, you know it’s not gonna be a song you’ll have at your wedding! Still can’t fault variety; the lyrics justify this in more ways than one!

Where the hell Tomorrow Night came from I do not know. You really do have to take the meaning ‘fornicate’ lightly if you are gonna listen. The bass of Lexxi Foxx thunders its way through and with that backbone drumming of Zadinia, they break all boundaries of the album. With the vocals being as flexible as a yoga instructor and the guitar burning holes in the strings, the song is Steel Panther at their best!

First things first, I’ll leave the lyrics of this song to your imagination; bearing in mind the song’s called That’s What Girls Are For (don’t ask). Filthy as it is, it’s a kick arse song; strangely enough it’s a hottie!

After this full blown heavy metal album, the goodbye song Weenie Ride is the slowest; there is a piano involved! Starr’s vocals were outstanding and once again out came the ‘rare’ delicate side; yeah right, until the filthy lyrics started. What can I say? Firstly if I said what I wanted to say, it would be censored! Yet again we were back to the crude and explicit Steel Panther; the four guys whose lyrics can bring out a twisted sense of humour.

Balls Out is a damn fine album! They’ve stuck to their eh-hem unforgettable roots and lined us up with a classic. It’s how heavy metal should be played and the lyrics are more like stories; adult stories I mean. If you want to revive the raw, grinding 80s heavy metal and listen to sexually instigated poetry all at once, here’s your album. I’m gonna give you a word of advice here, buy the album, load it onto an iPod because it’s borderline musical pornography. Oh and guys, don’t forget to hide the album cover under your bed! The album says Balls Out, so I’d grab them while you can!

by Kathryn Longbottom